PLAY, Personality and Meaningful Change
Here we are. It’s 2021, a year that the majority of the world has waited for with baited breath, following one of the most conflict-ridden years in recent history. We love the idea that the turn of the calendar brings change. Does it? Or does it bring a lot of noncommittal behavior, empty promises and difficulty with achieving meaningful change? Let’s explore play, personality and their influences on change.
What Does It Really Take to Change?
I have spent a lot of time in reflection and in practice with how true personal change is realized. This is an important part of the health journey, of course, as nothing sticks without deep and meaningful change. But also at the heart of the matter is the truth that change cannot be forced or always “worked”. I believe there are 3 major pieces to change, and they are
commitment/dedication
supportive core beliefs
play
This article will focus mostly on the latter, as I often witness it as a missing piece. (I have spoken numerous times about core beliefs and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are essential to all successful living. If you wish to read more on this topic, you may do so here.)
The human species may be one of the only ones that includes real change in behavior and personality over the course of a lifetime. There are the “big five” of human personality traits, and they are:
Extraversion: How outgoing, social, cheerful, or full of energy and enthusiasm you are in social settings.
Agreeableness: How warm, friendly, helpful, generous, and tactful you are.
Emotional stability (or its opposite, neuroticism): How calm, content, and unflappable—versus anxious, angry, jealous, lonely, or insecure—you are.
Conscientiousness: How organized, efficient, and committed you are to finishing projects or reaching your goals.
Openness to experience: How curious, adventuresome, and receptive you are to new ideas, emotions, and experiences.
We are learning through research that there is really quite significant change in these traits over the course of a lifetime, and also learning that it is the relationship of these traits with one another that changes the most. The research also shows that personality change likely happens in response to our life experiences, and often leans in a positive, helpful direction. This is very good news! - especially for the naysayers who believe “people don’t change” or for the frustrated person trying to change but not experiencing success.
So, what has intrigued me is why this might NOT happen…why do some people experience positive personality changes that allow them to illicit positive behavior changes as well, and some do not?
What’s Play Got To Do With It?
I love asking that question! And I hope that it inspires you to ask the question for yourself as well. I hope to shed some light on play but also hope to have you doing your own inquiry - because that could incite play in and of itself!
Play in adults has been shown to increase flexible decision making and increased creativity. It has also been shown to reduce fatigue, boredom, stress, and burnout. We also know from research that play deprivation in our younger years has deep impacts upon our social and emotional skills, so it becomes even more crucial in adulthood to make room for play in order to receive these benefits.
There is a “broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions” which suggests that positive emotions lead to more diverse thought-action repertoires and, in turn, enduring personal resources such as resilience and problem-solving skills. The development of more diverse thought-action repertoires is also supported by core belief work - the belief is the precursor to thoughts and actions. With the energy of play put into motion, we then increase our chances of being successful in connecting all of the dots. Essentially, this means that because play is likely to generate strong positive emotions through confidence, connection and higher energy, play also improves one’s ability to think flexibly or in an unconventional manner. I believe this is essential to change…and will provide a positive feedback loop to commitment and dedication, our 3rd element in change.
The work of Sergio Pellis, professor of neuroscience at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, Canada, offers further neurological support for play’s significance. Pellis’ research shows that it is unstructured play, where partners have to negotiate the rules and learn how to deal with infringements, that is most important for the beneficial effects on the prefrontal cortex of the brain (where emotions and cognitive expanse are interacting and being processed). He emphasizes that neither non-social play (as on a video screen) nor structured play (as in organized sports) provide the relevant experiences…it is, rather, free play generated alone and with others that does this.
When Is the Last Time You Played?
I mean really, really played…and got lost in it.
I could provide you with all kinds of science on all types of play, but do you really want that? In this discussion, isn’t it most important to just tap into your own playfulness and see what it will be today? Because healing is often an intensive and involved path, and because chronic illness often involves low energy, I frequently find that play has been lost and its return can bring innumerable rewards.
Dancing or singing with abandon, playing in the water, swinging, skipping, biking hands free down a hill, playing games with others, making and destroying silly shapes with clay or dough, drawing, laughing at absolutely anything until your face hurts, chasing and/or wrestling with your kid or dog, tickling someone or being tickled…the list of possibilities is endless and it deserves your presence today! Commit to a no-judgment zone. Playing and creating do not require judgment - they just are!
If you are in need of support for healing, core belief work or exploration of play to create your best year and best path, please write to me at Julie@truenaturehealthconsulting.com. We provide holistic telehealth services.